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sex.index / Premature Ejaculation



Premature ejaculation is a frustrating but common condition, and when it starts banging at the door of sexual arousal your body feels totally out of control.  

If you ejaculate 4 minutes into sex or before, you technically have PE.

Similar to sexual anxiety, premature ejaculation often happens when you are overly concerned (or anxious) about the performance of your penis.  

PE is an issue that has the ability to burrow deep into your body and become a part of your “normal” sexual function very quickly if you don’t handle it early-on and with care.  

Think of premature ejaculation like a little (or, sometimes big) anxiety attack.  When you don’t address this performance-based anxiety, stress accumulates in your body and you begin programming yourself for RELEASE from that stress through more little anxiety attacks that cause you to physically release.  It’s like the problem (anxiety) that solves itself with another problem (more anxiety + physical release) … which creates more anxiety.  A never-ending cycle of loss of sexual power.

As this loss of power and build up of stress weakens your defenses and compounds, the physical response gets hardwired into your body.  This is the point at which most men begin to experience premature ejaculation regularly, even during masturbation.

But this stress-filled cycle can be addressed, once you recognize the SUPERPOWER behind premature ejaculation.

The Premature Ejaculation Superpower

If you have the gift of PE (yes—it’s a gift!), then you are able to experience pleasure + intensity.  

Your nervous system is more positively active and more deeply available to pleasure.  And so you’re able to take sensation to deeper levels than most folks … and much quicker.  

This is why full body orgasm comes more naturally to men who tend toward premature ejaculation issues.  You easily have nerve availability that most people have to work much harder for.

Similar to sexual anxiety, the healing power for premature ejaculation (or Sex Rx) is compassion.  And we will add one more healing power: curiosity.

When you engage compassion and curiosity, you shift your perspective from being performance-based (needing energy from others) to experience-based (generating your own sexual power).

And so the superpower of premature ejaculation is lasting, intense pleasure that becomes a generator for sexual power.  We’ll give you a hint as to how to begin harnessing this power …

… STOP FOCUSING ONLY ON YOUR PENIS DURING SEX!

When you learn how to manage your PE imbalance, you’ll at once be able to deeply connect to the sensation of your orgasm (like, super deep) and totally control your ejaculation.  The best of BOTH worlds.

The Science Behind Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation isn’t an issue of control, it’s actually an issue of stress.  

Stress in your body triggers your release.  And, each time you experience your ejaculation triggered by stress, your premature ejaculation gradually gets worse. Because (and, again), in each and every moment, you are training your body to respond in a specific way (that’s Neuroscience 101).

Once stress hits, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in and tells your body to GET READY for action.  Run away … fight … react!  This was a super useful trick when we had to escape from predators a few thousand years ago.  But these days it doesn’t help when you’re trying to connect with your partner during sex and you have the urge to get the fuck out.

When your sympathetic nervous system kicks-in it causes the veins in your pelvic area and sex system to contract, while it delivers the bulk of blood to your brain and other parts of your body necessary for strategizing and running.  So when your sex system contracts it causes the physical response that pushes out ejaculate.

The good news is that pleasure is the opposite of stress.  All of the yummy, magical brain chemicals that are activated with touch and arousal, like oxytocin, help to balance your body and create space in your sex system.  

When You Experience Premature Ejaculation

Like all sexual imbalance, premature ejaculation is a problem of the body, and through your body, you’ll discover ways to solve the problem.  

It’s possible to feel anxious or excited during sex, all without ejaculating prematurely.  Just like a child can control the urge to urinate, your ejaculation can be controlled.

Experiencing PE might screw with your brain, but that generally comes later—after the actual physical issue has rooted itself in your body and intimate life.  So take action now to bring awareness into the mix: what feelings pop up for you around sex?

  • Are you worried?  You might be fixated on the thought of PE happening again.
  • Are you feeling TOO MUCH?  Maybe you’re overwhelmed with sensation already, a unique mix of nervousness and excitement.  
  • Or are you so frustrated with your issues that the thought of sex just doesn’t excite you anymore?  

Whatever the feelings you have around sex, bring AWARENESS of how you choose to focus your mind during sex, and a CURIOSITY about sensation and your body to your sex experience.  This is a powerful (and masterful) first step in healing premature ejaculation.

Oh … AND STOP FOCUSING ON ONLY YOUR PENIS DURING SEX! 🙂

Premature Ejaculation FAQ’s

Wondering if you’re the only one?  Don’t worry, you’re definitely NOT.  Here are a few common questions we get about PE, from people just like you.  

My doctor says that premature ejaculation is almost never a physical problem, it’s mental.  What’s wrong with me?  

There is nothing wrong with you.  Your PE issue is always a mix of physical, emotional, AND mental.  

But we begin the journey of solving your problem by facing the physical imbalance first.  By creating awareness around the imbalance and connecting with your experience, you create a stronger foundation for your body, so it’s easier to find a relaxed state.

I can just ejaculate before I have sex, then I’ll last longer with my partner later on.

Maybe, but only for the short term.  Releasing before you have sex only puts more pressure on you, creating more stress on your body later on.  It’s a quick fix and doesn’t address the underlying anxiety that you’re feeling outside of sex.

If I desensitize my penis with cream or lube then that will solve the problem.

Desensitization may help in the moment, but desensitizing your penis will only create other imbalances during sex, and make you either more sensitive later, or cause you to lose much of your sensation permanently.  And desensitizing creams and lubes work both ways, which probably won’t be a lot of fun for your partner!

I’ll just think about other stuff during sex, then.

This is called sexual avoidance.  And if your mind is somewhere else when you’re trying to connect with your partner, this creates a big brick wall between you and your partner energetically.  Slowly, the wall will become so powerful, you won’t want to have sex with your partner or anyone else (for that matter). Don’t risk relationship ruin so that you can last longer in bed. Totally not worth it!

I can take a pill to solve the problem.

Sure, pharmaceutical pills like antidepressants may help you last longer in the moment, but these pills can wreak havoc on your circulatory and nervous systems, sometimes causing permanent damage.  They create huge imbalances and push you that much further away from healing your premature ejaculation sustainably. What would you rather have, a pill to solve a problem once, or a system that solves the problem for a lifetime?

Sex Rx

Tantric, Taoist and neuro-body-balancing techniques work because they work with your body.

When the right steps are taken toward re-balancing your body, you won’t believe how quickly you tip the scales away from dysfunction and toward balance and power.

Here are a few practices we love that address the imbalance of premature ejaculation:

Looking For More?


We’ve curated a few articles and additional resources to help you learn more about premature ejaculation:

Full Body Orgasm Guide

Anxiety and depression among Greek men with primary erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation

Here are a few practices we love that address the imbalance of premature ejaculation: