She lies naked on her back, blindfolded. Her thighs are slightly splayed outward as a gesture of readiness and invitation.
Inside the darkness, she’s intricately aware of her body in a new and fascinating way. Every nerve ending throughout every inch of her somehow feels more awake.
She knows what she’s waiting for … she waits for a touch. The anticipation is making her skin slightly throb all over. She feels a subtle breeze brush across the left side of her neck, and …
Suddenly, she feels the tickle of the tip of something soft and feather-like on the inside of her left thigh.
“A,” he says with a curious tone.
Interesting, she thinks in quiet response. And her body instantly reacts to the sensation with a little shiver up and down her spine. Very interesting.
“That feels like a 3,” she states.
Next, she feels the flat of his entire hand. He leaves it searing on her thigh, with slight and very gentle pressure. The warmth of his palm against her bare skin feels like a soul-satisfying comfort she didn’t know she was missing.
Suddenly there’s an awakening happening as the warmth creeps up the inside of her leg into her pelvis and lower spine.
“B,” he says.
She carefully considers the touch, her body re-imagining the undertones of the brief encounter. She can feel his smile, through the darkness, beaming down on her and waiting for her reply.
“That was definitely a 5,” she enthusiastically answers.
Body mapping can be as simple or erotic as you want it to be. You can do it with clothes on, or clothes off, or something in between. You can try it in different positions. My favorite position being the classic: receiver lies down and the giver maps the back of the receiver’s body first, and then the front.
And, there are also versions of body mapping where the giver holds the receiver, and that feels amazing, too.
As you can see, sensual body mapping is a flexible practice that you can try in many different ways. And you should! Because your sensual body and your relationship with sex are always evolving, so it makes sense to map your body and pleasure on a regular basis.
But much more than just understanding which places your partner loves to be touched and how, sensual body mapping helps to break down the first major barrier that inhibits you from being direct about sex and your sensual experience: confidence.
Comfort leads the way for confidence. You have to feel comfortable IN YOUR SKIN to have confident and amazing sex. And this mapping process helps with that … it helps A LOT.
So don’t be surprised if that through this process you feel slightly uncomfortable, even embarrassed at first. Will your partner love you if you tell them what you like—or more importantly what you dislike—sexually? And, do you know yourself well enough to express your body’s triggers? Are you going to feel what you should feel?
There are so many variables.
But if you accept the uncomfy sensations, emotions, and doubt, those things will pass very quickly. And your reward for working through them will be MORE PLEASURE and a deeper more soul-satisfying connection with your partner.
FOCUS ON YOUR BODY
We all have emotional triggers and mental hurdles to jump over. But sex is a body-based activity. So I hope that during this entire experience, instead of focusing on what your mind thinks, you focus on how your body feels.
Each of us has a unique constellation of points on our bodies that trigger desire, and the way that we are touched creates another layer of pleasure in that area.
Do you like your nipples being caressed, or perhaps they should be pinched … or something in-between? Do you love your cheeks being touched, or does that turn you off? Should your lover stroke your inner thighs, or would you prefer a light scratch? All of these examples demonstrate both a place and type of stimulation that could be the beginning of exploring your very own sensual body map.
Sensual body mapping opens up a dialogue that helps you get to know your partner’s body in the most intimate of ways. It also frees you from feeling like you and your partner don’t get one another, sexually.
By doing this simple mapping process, you’ll glean so many incredible insights … I PROMISE!
Set aside 2 hours for this experience. Or, you may want to break up the experience so one person receives one day, and the other receives another day. Just make sure you don’t wait too long between swaps.
You may warm up your bodies first with a sensual bath, massage, or just a nice long cuddle. It’s important to warm up your body before mapping, and I’ve also built-in a short warm-up practice.
To begin Erotic Mapping
Create a comfortable environment. If you need some ideas we wrote an article about creating a sex room, and you can find some awesome environment pointers there. But also consider music, textures, lighting (candlelight is always sexiest).
A note to the receiver: the process works only if you are absolutely candid about how each touch makes your body feel. Remember that this is like a game, so play well and have fun.
If the head and neck are lying on the giver’s lap, you can put a pillow between your legs and the receiver’s head and neck. In this position caress the receiver’s body.
Spend about 5 minutes touching and caressing the receiver. Remember, this is just a warm-up.
Perhaps the Giver naturally touches more firmly, or more lightly. Trying several different styles of touch in one place will give you an idea as to your partner’s touch preference.
This experience offers one of the most powerful lessons that any couple can learn: how to play sensually together. Being overly serious about sex creates a black hole for your sexual energy. But experiences like sensual body mapping remind you not to be too serious about sex. Play is a major piece in your vibrant connection to maintaining your shared sexual energy.
As mentioned above, sensual communication is how you communicate what turns you on, and helps create more intimacy between you and your partner. Constantly developing your sensual communication skills is a requirement for a healthy and happy relationship. Use this skill regularly, or you’ll lose it.
Here are some examples of touch items you can use: feather, ice cube, flower, pointy chopsticks (for scratching), leather glove, wooden spoon, stocking, anything with a fun texture. But remember that the point is to understand how your partner likes YOUR TOUCH. So, understanding how to touch with your bare hands is the main focus.