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The (R)Evolution of Pleasure: Discovering Power In Your Sexual Imbalance

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

— Rumi

When was the last time you stopped to check in with how you really experience pleasure sensation?  

Do you usually feel connected to your orgasm during sex?  Or does something block your connection?

You see, even if you’re super sex-positive or think of yourself as having a healthy sex life, there’s an imbalance that shows up in your body when you have sex.  This imbalance could show up as a loss of desire, premature ejaculation, or sexual anxiety. Or it could be something way more subtle that you haven’t even noticed yet (like tension).

This little issue has likely been living in your body for a long, long time.  

Whether it’s every single time you knock-boots, or something that shows up every once in a while … your body, your partner’s body, everybody’s BODY has a sexual imbalance of some kind.  

You can relax, though.  Because, it’s actually when you face your sexual imbalance head-on, with clarity and compassion, that you unlock serious transformation and healing powers.  And that’s why we encourage you to own and even CELEBRATE your imbalance.

Because you can actually rely on your body’s specific imbalance to guide you through healing, towards your body’s own unique sexual SUPERPOWER.  And we’re about to show you how …

So, How Does YOUR Sexual Imbalance Show Up?

Sexual imbalances are creepy.  They’re insidious. An imbalance can show up as something that is socially encouraged—or even seems like a benefit—then suddenly drop hard, down into sexual dysfunction.  Erectile dysfunction offers a great example …

One early sign of erectile dysfunction is being able to fuck hard and last and last and last—something that porn has trained young men the world over to do.  Little do these men know that over time, the hard fucking and lasting forever desensitizes the penis (and the mind) to the sensation of pleasure.

You can learn from the sad tale of ED and desensitization because one simple way to know if you have a sexual imbalance is to check in with how connected you feel to the sensation of orgasm during sex. Do you feel connected to your pleasure? Do you feel in control of your climax? Are you having fun?

If the answer is no, that’s actually good news, because you’re being shown a little sign that says, “THIS WAY TO YOUR SEXUAL POWER!”

And so now you’ve discovered the most interesting thing about your sexual imbalance: it is a loss of sexual power that ALWAYS represents something powerful (and specifically tailored to you).

So the first step in healing your sexual imbalance is in discovering exactly where you’re losing your power.  

Your imbalance might show up in a few different ways, but here are some of the most common:

Premature Ejaculation

If you ejaculate within the first 4 minutes of having sex, then you’re dealing with premature ejaculation.  The stress that lives in your body triggers your release, even when you don’t want to climax.  That’s because your body runs just a little hotter than most when you experience sensation, making it harder to control your ejaculation.  And each time you experience this kind of anxiety-induced release, your body expects to react in the same way, every time.

The POWER behind this imbalance is that your body is already totally tuned into your sensation.  When you start to heal your premature ejaculation issues, you’re able to control that sensation in your body for FULLER, deeper orgasms.

Loss of Desire

Loss of sexual desire can show up in ANY body (not just women).  A lower libido might pop up when stress in your life accumulates, and it prevents you from connecting to your body and your sensation.  When your body can’t relax and stress takes over, feeling pleasure becomes a challenge—so does connecting with your partner.

Loss of sexual desire can inspire serious transformation and healing in your body, though, when you face this imbalance head on.  The power of this imbalance lies in the capacity that your body has for pleasure. When you’re working through a loss of desire, your body learns to connect again to sensation, which can inspire creativity and curiosity in your pleasure, like an entirely new universe that you have access to.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (or ED) symptoms will often go unnoticed until it’s a significant imbalance, and eventually a full-blown dysfunction.  This often creeps up on men later in life, especially if you’re used to hard fucking for long periods of time. If you start to notice that it’s more of a challenge to connect with your erection and pleasure, then you probably have ED.

Erectile dysfunction is your body’s way of telling you that performance DOES NOT equal power.  Your power and strength lies inside of your body’s SENSATION, and by working through this imbalance, you’ll start to unlock new ways to experience pleasure so that you can connect to the strength of your erection again.

Pain During Sex

This typically shows up more in women, but if you experience pain during sex, it’s often a reaction to the stress living in your body.  Stress shuts the “unnecessary” parts of your body down, preparing you instead for “fight or flight.” And that makes it really hard for you to RELAX and open up so that you can connect with your sensation (let alone pleasure).

When you use relaxation to heal from this trauma- or anxiety-induced pain, you show your body compassion and love again.  This self-compassion gently guides you to open up so that you receive more pleasure, and more POWERFUL, dynamic sensual experiences.

There plenty of other ways that your body might express an imbalance, and these are just a few of the more extreme examples.  There are also subtle imbalances that can show up in your body that muddy the waters a bit when it comes to experiencing sensation.

The Cycle of Imbalance

Stress is responsible for most of the imbalances in your body, from headaches to fatigue to stomach troubles.  Stress is what tells your brain to stay ALERT, so your body tenses up and contracts.

But think about what happens when you’re contracted and tense on a regular basis—when you don’t stop to unwind, relax, or decompress.  Maybe you’ve seen the effects on a partner or loved one. It can operate like a cycle:

  • You start feeling cranky and disconnected because you’re stressed—maybe you snap more often when answering questions, or notice that you’re fatigued after a day of work.
  • Then stress piles on, because life is MESSY, so you feel more entitled to be cranky and disconnected.  
  • Your tolerance for other people, even loved ones, starts to dwindle.
  • And because life stays kind of messy, this cycle continues.  It gets harder to find the motivation to face things and address issues—especially intimacy issues that make you feel more vulnerable.  

The long-term effects of being in a tense, overly stressed state have a BIG impact on your well-being and health.  Anxiety and depression have been shown to cause damage to the brain’s hippocampus, the part of the limbic system that controls REALLY important functions like memory and learning.  

You’re not alone in this cycle of imbalance, though.  Like we said, ALL BODIES have an imbalance of some kind, and there are countless studies being done on healing these issues.  The mind-body connection is still being researched by the scientific community, but there is already a wealth of information and resources available to sensual explorers like you.

That’s right.  You already have the tools you need to heal your imbalance, proven by research-backed methods, that DON’T require a pill or surgery.  And this incredible healing power lives inside of your body.

The Transformational Power of Relaxation

Modern research in neuroscience just backs up what we’ve already known in Tantric and Taoist traditions—that your body has the power to transform and heal itself.  It’s just a matter of using mind-body practices to act as interventions to STOP the experience of overwhelming anxiety or tension in the body:

“The relaxation response (RR) is a physiological and psychological state opposite to the stress or fight-or-flight response,” according to one study.  “Results from rigorous research studies indicate the ability of various mind-body interventions to reduce chronic stress and enhance wellness through induction of the RR.”

It should come as no surprise, then, that activities like yoga and mindful breathing have yielded some pretty positive results.  Scientists are seeing that using these relaxation techniques can reverse the effects of hypertension, insomnia, and even aging.

But our FAVORITE way to incorporate relaxation techniques is through a sensual practice.  Carving out time in your week (or everyday) for a sensual practice not only creates the space you need to heal your sexual imbalance, but it will start to empower other aspects of your life: your relationships, your creativity, and your success.

Facing Your Imbalance Through Sensual Practice

You might already have a wellness routine that uses techniques like breathwork or mindfulness meditation, but make your sensual practice a priority, and you’ll start to open your body to deeper sensation and awareness.

A few guidelines for establishing this regular practice:

  • CREATE SPACE.  Dedicate this area (a whole sex room is also great!) to your sensual experience and keep the space quiet, calm, and as free from distraction as possible.
  • GIVE YOURSELF TIME.  Start with 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time for your sensual practice.
  • SET AN INTENTION.  What do you want to do with this time?  Think about how you want to grow from your sensual practice and what you want to learn.  You might just start with an intention of learning to breathe more fully and relaxing into your body.
  • USE YOUR SENSATION TO EXPLORE.  Your sensual practice is about CURIOSITY!  You can use sensation to work through your imbalance, wherever it lies in your body.

If you’re looking for more guidance (and step-by-step instructions with audio) you can also check out the Superpower Sex Full Body Orgasm Guide.  This powerful, actionable resource is the perfect foundation for your healing sensual practice.

Checking in with how your body experiences sensation, is a GREAT (and proven) tool for relieving stress.  But it’s SO MUCH more than that! A sensual practice is also your guiding light, providing you with a clear path towards the healing SUPERpower that your body possesses.  

Your sensual practice doesn’t just end after you’re finished with a session, though.  The healing from this kind of awareness and self-compassion is immense. Because you’re conditioning yourself to be more OPEN to pleasure in all aspects of your life.

Welcome to the Future: [R]Evolutionary Sex

A healthier and more fulfilling sensual experience can enhance and empower our lives, and the science community is taking note.  Researchers in England have been studying the effects of sexual activity in older adults: they’re starting to see that more pleasure can have positive effects on human memory and can even help you live longer.

When you own your imbalance and understand how you experience sensation, you start the process of healing.  Bringing this awareness to your sexual experience only empowers you, and that kind of energy WANTS to spill out into all areas of your life.  

Facing your imbalance can feel daunting—it’s pretty common to sweep stress under the rug sometimes and allow yourself to get distracted by other life messes.  But addressing a sexual imbalance is really a huge fucking opportunity to connect more deeply with yourself and fall in LOVE with your sexuality. (And it’s a long-term solution, far more sustainable than taking a pill.)

And ultimately, understanding your body’s imbalance means you can relate and connect to other people more easily—because they’re imbalanced and capable of transformation, too.  

So here’s to discovering your sexual SUPERPOWER and connecting more deeply, with yourself and with others!

Want a little MORE?  Check out our comprehensive guide to empowering your sensual journey and facing your imbalance: the Superpower Sex Full Body Orgasm Guide.  You’ll get audio recordings and guided instructions for deeper healing, deeper sensation, and LOTS of pleasure!

TAGS

Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual Healing

Sexual Imbalance

Sexual Wellness